New Vision "Journal"

Today was... well, I am unsure how to define it. Full of feelings, thoughts, emotions, happenings. Today I experienced death.

Not my own, of course, of WOW is the after-life hip or what? Actually- if I am sitting at a computer in heaven-beyond, then I really need to get a life now!  Nevertheless, today I experienced the spiritual passing of a human into the unknown.

My best-friends father was sticken with Pancreatic Cancer a few months ago, possibly from the effects of an untreated Prostate Cancer 2 yrs ago. I had been visiting him upon the request of my friend as she had moved out of town. It all started with just me "checking on" him. Once a week visits soon escalated into 2 days a week. Then I went out of town for 2 weeks and when I returned he was ill and in the hospital. His entire family along with me, made daily visits. We basically didn't let him sleep! There was always, or at least during visiting hours, someone there. The end diagnosis and path of treatment, was to send him home to be with family. In came Hospice.

After 9 days of 24-hour care and family by his side, he sucumbed to not being able to breathe. I hadn't been for a visit for a few days, when I got a call from my friend to pray for her dad. His lungs were filling up with fluid, it was near the end. I was working, couldn't talk but promised I'd be there at quarter past one.

Two in the afternoon came along, and I was still helping someone else out. I jumped up, saying I HAD to go. I drove to his house, returning calls that I needed to make for my business. I walked in and almost gasped and I saw him gasping for air. His family was there, the nurse and the healthworker. I couldn't even look into his eyes. It was as if he couldn't see. Although his eyes were open and since I had read all the end of life paperwork from the program he was in, I knew he could still hear me. I said hi, but had to immediately leave the room to compose myself. Shock. No other word I can use, but shock. I tried to cry, but nothing came out. So I went back into the room and tried again. We all ended up surrounding him, the others left the room. As he gasped for air, I stood in a circle around him, comforting his family. They were crying, bawling and I almost left the room when Great Spirit sent me a message. I whispered to my left in my friends wet tearfilled ear, "Should we pray?". She announced we should say the Lord's Prayer and as we did Dave took his last breath.

We had let him go, asked Higher Power to take him and he finally let go. I didn't ask to be there. But I am honored I was part of such a spiritual event. It strengthens my belief we are sprititual beings having a human experience. And if I had been there at the time I said I was to, I know I would have only stayed a half hour. I act tough, strong and stone proof at times, but that would have been too much to handle. My loving God shared our desire to stop the suffering, pass on and release to the unknown.

Thank you Great Spirit for allowing me to experience the death part of life. And thank you for those friends I have that invited me into their home in such a difficult time in their lives.